sthguoht

mAn's bEstfriEnD

The movie (Eight Below) was not really new 'cause it was released in 2006 but I didn't know why in the world I wasn't able to watch it. Maybe it was shown during my "movie viewing hiatus" days.=D Anyways, it was a story about a team of Antarctic explorers and their sled dogs. Of course, there was more to that. The story actually started when Jerry Shepard (the guide played by Paul Walker) agreed to lead a geologist (Dr. Davis McClaren played by Bruce Greenwood) in a very risky mission to find a rare meteorite from planet Mercury in the icy wilderness. They were able to find what they were looking for but barely survived because of some unfortunate events. A major storm was coming, Dr. McClaren had a broken leg and Jerry had frostbite. However, thanks to the team of sled dogs the two humans were able to return to base camp alive. All members of the team were evacuated later to safer grounds except the dogs. They were chained outside the desolate camp, all eight of them.

The scene was so sad, I almost cried. I knew what Jerry felt. He wanted to go back and save them but it was impossible. It was like, you wanted it so badly but all circumstances were against you. You couldn't control it, especially that we're talking about nature here. I'm used to have dogs around the house when I was growing up and I love their company. My favorite was a dog named after my younger brother Joy2x (his nickname). "He" was loyal to our family. I talked to "him" like "he" was my friend. Whenever I had a late night practice for the dance troupe in high school, "he" patiently waited for me and accompanied me home. "He" died few years back due to old age but I still misses "him" today. "He" was one of a kind. We still have dogs in the house now but I'm not that close to them 'cause I don't come home more often.

Nevertheless, the film ended with a happy note. Jerry was reunited with his dogs. The scene when Max wanted to tell Jerry that Maya was still out there was touching. I finally cried when he realized that Maya was still alive. It was happy indeed 'cause he got his dogs back though not all of them and the woman that could understand his passion.

wHat jecel meAns

Written below is the "meaning" of my name according to http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/outcome.php:

You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

It's really cool because it is truly me except on some aspects. If you want to know yours, just click the link above. Ciao!

'sAng taOn nA pO

Ang bilis talaga ng panahon. Parang kelan lang na nagpaalam ako sa bahay at mga dabarkads na punta rito at eto one year na pala ako sa lugar na ’to. Actually nung June 2 pa po sa Bangkok kaso dito sa Hatyai, last July 9 pa.

Ano bang nangyari sa loob ng isang taon? Naging mas strong at matapang (naks!) ata ako. Grabe kasi I didn’t know anyone tapos kinumbinse ko talaga sina mama na maging okay lahat. Tapos last semester ko pa sa denrm kaya di rin talaga madali but faithful talaga si Lord.

Super mababait ang mga peeps na nakilala ko kaya super saya although may times din na malungkot kasi di na ako makakauwi agad sa bahay. The first Filipino that I met in Bangkok was Loraine. I was really glad to meet her because at least di ako puro English. Iba talaga pag kababayan. We were the only Filipinos in our class at ECC.

Then July 9 nga last year, punta ako ng south where I met several Filipino teachers and the family of Pastor Ale & Ate Luz. Mas masaya kasi mas marami. Bilib talaga ako sa pinoy kasi kahit galing sa iba’t ibang backgrounds, nagdadamayan. Salamat po sa lahat ng kainan, tawanan, kantahan at kahit sa iyakan.

I really hope that we continue to be “lights” and “salts” in this part of the world. God has a purpose for each one of us. Sa akin, naging curious lang ako during my STS class in college. Kung ano yung mga questions, ask nyo na lang ako if kita tayo basta ang totoo may puwang sa puso ko ang bansang ‘to (naks!).

aNonG mErOn sA 304?

Natatawa talaga ako kasi kung saan-saang unit na ako napadpad, sa Room 304 din lang pala ang bagsak ko. Sa mga hindi nakakaalam, nung unang salta ko pa sa Hatyai dapat ay sa Viriya Court talaga ako at sa Room 304 nga kaso di natuloy. Ni-recommend kasi ng bago kung friend na si Cha na dun para mas malapit kami. Di natuloy kasi naisip naming dun na lang sa may wireless internet connection na apartment.

Mula July hanggang October last year, sa City Court kami ni Miss Olga. Maganda ang lugar kaso di masyadong nakakapasok ang preskong hangin kaya lagi akong matamlay. Nagdecide na naman kami na umalis at maghanap ng mas magandang lugar. Nakahanap nga, mas malaki at sariwa ang hangin pero pag tanghali, super init. Buti na lang di naman kami nagbababad dun kasi laging nasa trabaho. Hapon na kami pag umuwi kaya ok lang. Ang di lang maganda sa isang taong tulad ko na tamad maglakad ay ang pagbaba at pag-akyat sa apat na palapag na building kasi ang unit namin ay nasa 4th floor, Room 401. Ewan ko ba kung bakit walang elevator. Dagdag pa na kelangan kong dumaan sa overpass tuwing umaga at hapon kasi nakakatakot tumawid sa pedestrian lane. Wala kasing sinasantong tao ang mga motorista. Oo naman, hindi naman lahat pero karamihan talaga. Buti na lang malapit lang ang school.

Mula November hanggang March sa taong ‘to dun kami. Sensya na, di ko kasi nakuha ung name ng building. Anyway, bakit hanggang March lang? Kasi po nag-alsa balutan na naman kami. Bakit na naman? Kasi nagdesisyun na naming maghiwalay ng landas ni Miss Olga. Joke lang. Ang totoo kasi may mga panahon na nagugutom ako (di ko alam sa kasama ko) dun sa hindi ko nga alam ang name nung building kasi alam mo na tamad din minsang magluto at mamalengke. Trip ko kasing kumain bago matulog. Wala pa namang malapit na restaurant o di kaya’y 7eleven. Kelangan mo na ulit tumawid sa nakakatakot na kalsada kung ayaw mong mag-overpass. Meron palang 7eleven na di na kelangan tumawid kaso medyo malayo kaya naisip kong dun na talaga sa Viriya Court kasi nasa baba si Pi Da at may malapit na convenience store. Si Pi Da po ay eksperto sa pagluluto ng Thai food. Nagbebenta rin siya ng masasarap na ice creams.

Kaya yun nga, lumipat na naman kami. Ako sa Room 306 at si Miss Olga ay sa Room 307. Yun lang kasi ang mga bakante nung panahong yun. Medyo matagal din ako sa 306. Nakauwi na ako ng ‘pinas nung Mayo at nakabalik kasama ang kapatid ko, dun pa rin. Kaso pag-uwi ko kahapon, napag-alaman kong bakante ang Room 304. Nagustuhan ‘to ng kapatid ko kasi mas malaki ang balcony. Nagustuhan ko na rin kasi gusto nya eh. Mas malaki naman ang bathroom kaya ok na rin talaga.

Super linis kami the whole night kasi balak na naming lumipat bago mag Biyernes. Nakakamiss din ang 306 pero ganun talaga yun, lahat nagbabago. Sure akong di nakakapagod yung paghahakot, di tulad dati, kasi nasa tapat lang ng 306 ang 304. Sayang nga wala na si Cha kasi kukuwento ko sana na lipat na kami mamya. Hope mabasa nya ‘tong post ko. Hehehe.

Independent @ 25

Twenty-five is quite late to be independent. However, I had my first taste of “independence” when I was sixteen. I left home to study biology in UP Los Baños. I was not alone though ‘cause I lived   with mama's cousin, had relatives in town and still asked money from my parents. After college I thought it was time but mama asked me to go home. I thought I’d stay for a year but I was asked to teach chemistry, been involved with the CYF and helped in our business. However, those four years were great ‘cause I got closer to my parents and bro. Then last year I decided to travel abroad alone. It was scary but I loved it. I asked blessings from my parents ‘cause I didn’t like to leave the house without their “go” signal. I’m always obedient (except sometimes):).

I know that God is always with me so I’m not totally scared. I got a job last year and stayed in Thailand. It feels great but I really miss home. No one can really have the best of both worlds.   

nOstalgiA

As I walk from my extra class today, several kids greet me downstairs. They are waiting either for their father or mother to pick them up. It is my fourth time to handle an extra class but this time is different. Today reminds me of a little girl years back who patiently waited for her papa to pick her up from school or who was eager to see her papa waiting for her outside the classroom.

I miss that moment. I can’t help but be teary-eyed when I see the smile of a Prathum kid as she grabs her father’s hand. They walk together happily. It is nostalgic. I miss that little girl twenty years ago. I miss papa.

I miss that little girl who tagged along her mama when she was five; the little girl who took a “crash course” on ballet and attended piano lessons because mama told her so. I miss when mama told her she can do it. Mama believed in her little girl even twenty years back. How I wish she is near so I can hug her. I miss mama.

hOmE

 

I ran from home

many years back.

I looked for the things

to fill me up.

But I was wrong

and I tried to deny it.

Deep inside my heart

was a voice telling me,

That you loved me

and you waited for me.

Endless seasons

but your love never faded.

Thank you Jesus for your amazing grace

Your love and forgiveness

brought me home.

I was lost

but now I’m found.

I long for the day

to run to you,

To your open arms

waiting to embrace me,

with a smile on your face

lighting up my day.

Thanks for choosing me

before I was born.

Thanks for loving me

‘cause I’ve grown so strong.

Thank you Jesus for your amazing grace

Your love and forgiveness

brought me home.

JLynn

enVi aDvocAcy

I just finished my exam in ENRM 222. Lisuda oi. Sakit sa kamot kay puro essay.

What really bothered me during my envi advocacy class was the concept of "mainstream thinking." It is hard to make people change their exploitative lifestyles for the sake of the environment because they consider the latter as an "add-on" rather than an integral part of the very fabric of life. Hope everyone should consider the EARTH in their list of priorities. Lip service is not enough, action is needed!

I recommend the docu film: The Incovenient Truth for everyone to watch.

jOurnEy

                                 You are walking endlessly

you are running at times

you want to stop and

rest for a while

you look for life’s purpose

you make mistakes

you learn sound lessons

out of them

summer has passed

spring is here

then when leaves start to fall

soon winter is coming

many seasons come and go

the music fades and

the laughter faints

but still it continues

it is a long journey,

but it will surely end.

then a sign will say,

“welcome home my friend.”

                                  JLynn

enVi aDvocAcy pArt 2

From what I submitted to ENRM 222 (Environmental Advocacy):

           I love the environment. I really do. There is a certain bond between nature and me that I can’t explain. All I know is that I love to spend time in its tranquility and be immersed in its diversity. That’s why I’m also sad to see it ruined.

When we were growing up, my brother and I spent our summer vacations at my grandmother’s house near the seashore. As a kid, I didn’t mind the sun’s heat as long as enjoyed swimming and playing in its pristine waters even during low tides when the water at the intertidal zone was shallow. Actually, low tides were my favorite because I could see and intently observe crabs, fishes, starfishes and other sea creatures. Every time they hid behind the rocks, I waited for them to come out. This explains my tanned look when I was little. My grandmother, my uncle and my aunts really had a hard time convincing me to stay inside the house. They even called me at one point as “kataw” (Cebuano for mermaid) or “anak ng dagat” (child of the sea).

          It also became a habit to pick up shells every late afternoon along the beach. I found it amazing that shells came in different shapes and sizes. I had no idea then that I would take up Biology in college. I liked to group the shells that I collected according to how they looked and assigned them in different families. If there were many different shells, there were many families, too. I couldn’t remember if I gave them names but all I knew was that I built a community of shells. My aunts found it weird so when I was not looking, they got rid of them. I usually cried when I found out that they were gone. Then my grandmother would assure me that I could find more shells the following day.

I know many people would find it odd or even creepy but I love the smell of soil just after the weeds are pulled out. I am also mesmerized of how water exists as it is. It flows easily and if there are barriers along the way, it surely finds a way out. How sad that its role in our lives is like that of a double-edged sword. Yes, it makes life on earth possible; however, it can also be an agent of destruction.

There is still one thing that I want to divulge. The main reason that I chose to study in UP Los Baños was Mount Makiling. I heard of stories about the mountain from my grandmother because she was able to visit Los Baños when my grandfather was still alive. She told me that it was overlooking the famous Laguna de Bay and I also read stories about Maria Makiling.

However, my childhood idea of a nearly perfect or even perfect environment changes when I see how it is plundered. I feel its pain but sadly not everyone notices that it is crying out for help. I think people forget that we don’t own anything on this planet. We are just stewards of God’s creation. Yes, we are given the authority to rule over the rest of the earth but we must remember that we need to look after them to make sure that they are safe and protected. We are supposedly the rational and intelligent beings, why is it so hard for some of us to fathom that whatever they do to the environment will surely backfire not only to them but also to the rest of us? It seems that they just don’t care as long as they reap the short-term benefits; not minding the long-term problems brought about by their unscrupulous acts.

            I think this is what others missed – EVERYTHING in nature is interconnected. When you see a forest, it is not only composed of trees but of all other living and nonliving things, which interact with each other and in the process, influence each other’s form and survival.  This diversity is not only confined to forest ecosystem but to other type of ecosystems as well. Whenever someone cuts a tree, may it be in mangrove or upland forest, I think he does not fully understand that his action can be detrimental to the wildlife that particular tree supports or that it upsets the stability of the ecosystem. He would not dare touch the tip of the axe or chainsaw on its trunk if he is aware and concerned about the fatal consequences.

          Indeed the environment needs to be protected because once it is destroyed it is hard to bring back what is lost. However, we cannot simply stare and cry over spilled milk. We need to do something. I strongly believe that concerning denuded forests, reforestation is not the answer but RESTORATION. We need to identify the trees that are indigenous to the area and start the restoration if we want to bring even half of its past glory.

uncOnditiOnal loVe

Fears…weaknesses…unconditional love from my Journal (January 23, 2000)

Written below is a beautiful song by Rebecca St. James. I forgot the title but it doesn’t matter. The song has a profound relevance to my life.

You search me/You know me/You see my every move/There’s nothing I could ever do/To hide myself from you/You know my thoughts/My fears and hurts/My weaknesses and my pride/You know what I am going through/And how I feel inside/But even though you know/You will always love me/Even though you know/You’ll never let me go/I don’t deserve your love/But you give it freely/You will always love me/Even though you know.

tHe pOwEr of lOvE

Love…God…                           from my Journal (March 3, 2000)

          “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Corinthians 13: 4-7.

God is love. He loves His children. He teaches us to love, too. Love is powerful. It is holy and pure. If God’s love is in our hearts, we will be patient, kind, forgiving, peaceful, etc. There is joy in waiting if we are patient and we love to wait for God’s way to fulfill all things. Love should be maintained that way. It should be used for the welfare of others and for the name of the Most High to be glorified always in each of our lives.

bE still

Be still…have a quiet heart…     from my Journal (February 23, 2001)

          “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:1-2

When I am in a hectic day, God wants me to pull off the side of the road, stop the clamoring engine of this world around me and listen to Him.

However, sometimes I’m in a hurry to listen because of my deadlines, exams and late classes. God is always talking to me, but how can I hear Him if I’m busy? How can He make me lie down in green pastures and lead me beside quiet waters if I’m not still myself? How can He restore my soul if I don’t take time to sit at the feet of Jesus? I know I need to be still, to have a quiet heart and to stop my grumbling and complaints.

aMaziNg gRacE

Salvation…Jesus Christ              from my Journal (February 2, 2002)

          “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son. Whosoever believes in Him will never perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

There is no pain much greater than what Jesus had experienced. My hurts and pains are nothing compared to the hurts that He felt. Yet, He never retaliated, He never condemned and He never harbored bitterness. Rather, He offered love, forgiveness and salvation to humanity. All we need is to believe in Him, to repent from all our sins and to accept Him in our hearts because Jesus is the only way to the Father (John 14:6).

         I simply argue that the cross be raised again

          at the center of the marketplace

          as well as on the steeple of the church.

          I am rediscovering the claim that

          Jesus was not crucified in a cathedral

          between two candles

          but on a cross between two thieves;

          on the town garbage heap,

          at a crossroad so cosmopolitan

          that they had to write His title

          in Latin and in Hebrew and in Greek.

          At the kind of place where cynics talk smut

          and thieves curse and soldiers gamble;

          Because that is where He died

          and that is what He died about

          and that is where Christians ought to be

          and what Christians ought to be about.

                                                GEORGE McLEOD

                            

tRue loVe wAits

God’s will…love…                from my Journal (September 10, 2002)

I am really sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who loves Jesus more than he loves me. I want to live with a man who is passionate with Christ. My belief is simply anchored on my faith and love for the Lord.

The following poem by Ruth Bell Graham (wife of Evangelist Billy Graham) shows how nice it is to commit to God this important aspect of our lives:

Dear God, I prayed, all unafraid

(as we’re inclined to do)

I do not need a handsome man

but let him be like You;

I do not need one big and strong

nor yet so very tall,

nor need he be some genius,

or wealthy, Lord, at all;

but let his head be high, dear God,

and let his eye be clear,

his shoulders straight, whate’er his state,

whate’er his earthly sphere;

and let his face have character,

a ruggedness of soul,

and let his whole life show, dear God,

a singleness of goal;

then when he comes

(as he will come)

with quiet eyes aglow,

I’ll understand that he’s the man

I prayed for long ago.

                             RUTH BELL GRAHAM

wArriOr is a cHild

Warrior…child…dependent…     from my Journal (February 25, 2003)

Yes indeed, the warrior is a child (courtesy of Twila Paris). It is hard to let go of my tears and pour out everything in my heart. How I wish I will not exist anymore; how I want to be invisible and to escape all the problems and pressures.

I realize that I am so fragile but selfish. I thought before that being independent was good and the nicest thing to be. But I was wrong. I realize today that unless I am dependent on God, I can’t do things properly. It is so hard to accept that I am selfish and I am destroying myself. I hate when I realize that I can’t control everything. These are tears of brokenness. Now I lay down everything, all the disappointments, pains, hurts, pressures, stress, worries and problems. I don’t understand why I should experience these but I trust God that He will never leave me. I am not strong myself but He is my strength.

On the brink of death I was.

In the edge of the cliff I stood.

I closed my eyes

And felt the emptiness inside.

                  

                   I looked far and wide,

But I never realized

Or simply I just denied

That you were alive.

                  

                   My tears showed my fears.

I cried ‘cause I need you.

Lord, hold my hand

And stay with me.

                  

                   Everyday ‘til my last breath,

I offer up my life to you.

Tomorrow I’ll have no fear.

I am not alone I know.

                  

                   The heart that once was dry,

Now beats and sings a lullaby.

On my face you put a smile

As I walk through this aisle.

                                     JLynn

               

pillArs of cLoUds

Healing…pillars of clouds…gentle drops of rain…   

                                           from my Journal  (November 30, 2004)

   I still remember what happened three years ago when I made a life-changing decision. November 30, 2001 would just be another day of my college life if I had opted to stay home.

   I used to be a passive person. I was afraid to take risks, to go out from my comfort zone. Going to Luneta that day for the one-day prayer and fasting known as the Jesus Revolution, was never appealing to me. I thought I could not survive one whole day of not eating and not to mention, staying under the scorching heat of the sun. However, it was in the Master’s Plan that I should be there. It was written; it was supposed to be.

   The buses that would take us to Manila would leave at about two o’ clock in the morning. It would really be impossible for me to be up by then. I even could not wake up early for my seven AM class, how much more at two AM?

   However, I was really amazed that I exactly thirty minutes before two, I woke up. I should have congratulated myself but I knew all glory was for God.

   I really felt God’s presence that day. I felt His warm embrace and His wondrous love that went beyond all my sins and faults.

   My Jesus Revolution experience was one of the major turning points of my life. I may falter sometimes but now I know how to stand up again and tread on the path that God laid out for me even before I existed.

   I thank Jesus for saving my life and giving me courage to conquer my fears. If I did not pay attention to His promptings, I may not see life as I see it now.  

bAby jOn

Loss…pain…healing…              from my Journal (September 4, 2005)

 I realized how fragile life was when death came to our lives last June 16. My mother gave birth prematurely to my baby brother Jon Henrique. He died but mama survived.

I remembered the events before that fateful day. Honestly, I was a bit embarrassed when the doctor confirmed that my mother was pregnant but I tried to hide it from her. I knew she was worried when she got the result of the tests because of her age. She was forty-six with two grown-up children. I was twenty-two and my younger brother Jerick was eighteen. However, we strongly believed that any unborn child had the right to live.

Months passed and all of us accepted the fact that a baby would be added to our family any time soon. On the sixth month, we already knew that the baby was a boy. Our anxiety turned to excitement as the days drew closer. I even had a name in mind for him. However, a month before June 16th, my mother and brother got into an accident on their way home. Fortunately, they were both unscathed but my mother was still brought to the hospital because she complained of an aching back. The doctor checked her and said that there was nothing to worry about. She and the baby were fine.

However, my mother was affected by the accident. She was so worried about the condition of the baby in spite the result of the ultrasound. She once told me that she seldom felt him moving in her womb. I didn’t know what to say but to assure her that the baby was okay. I never had an inkling that she would deliver our youngest brother prematurely.

I was sorry for baby Jon because he was not able to see the world. Nevertheless, I knew that he was not ours; he belonged to God. We needed to let go of him and looked at the brighter side. We should be grateful because mama survived given all the complications. She was able to deliver the baby normally although she had high blood pressure. We also thanked those people who prayed and consoled us during those difficult times.

Above all, I really felt the hand of God working those early hours in the morning. He did the impossible, even the doctors and nurses were amazed. He showed our family mercy and grace that were so sweet and amazing.

         

lettiNg gO

Patience…letting go…trust…        from my Journal (August 9, 2006)

    I have learned so many things for the past months. First was to be patient in the truest sense of the word because my patience was tested countless times. Second was to be sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. Of all the things that I have learned, the lessons of letting go and trusting the ONE BIG GOD weighed much.

    I was one of those people who had the hardest time letting go of anything. However, everything changed beginning July this year. God led me to a situation, which made me realize that holding on to something (i.e. bad or hurtful memories) was not good or not even healthy. It could even result to self-destruction and even the lives of those people around me could be ruined, too. Of course, I did not want that to happen. Hence, I decided to let go of everything – pains, frustrations, fears, anger, feeling of loss, etc. When I did that, I found peace.

    God also led me to another situation, which made me realize that I did not have to fear or to be dismayed because He is great. He was, is and never will be weak! I just need to listen, obey and walk humbly before Him and above all to trust Him. It means never to get worried of both trivial and big things because the God who shut the mouths of lions, who dried up the Red Sea and destroyed the enemies of His people, is the God whom I serve – who loves me and cares for me no matter what.

bAtan-oN pAdayOn...

Batan-on…paglawig…             from my Journal (December 30, 2006)

My brother and I just came home from this year’s Christmas Youth Camp, which ended last night. It was tiring but I really had fun. The youth from our church did well in our play and we were also able to compose and present a song, which was relevant to the CYF theme, Batan-on: Padayon sa Paglawig.

Paglawig

Ikaw ug ako niining kalibotan

Naglawig taliwala sa kalisdanan

Pero hinundumi kanunay

Sa unahan adunay kaharuhay

Chorus:

Mao na batan-on padayon sa paglawig

Padayon gihapon sa pagdayeg

Ayaw kabalaka sa balod ug unos

Kay anaa si Hesus atong manunubos

Dili kita angay nga mapandol

Sa pagsulay nga moabot kanato

Pero hinumdumi kanunay

Sa unahan adunay paglaum

Higala kab-ota ang imong pangandoy

Ayaw sayanga ang imong kaugmaon

Kay hinumdumi kanunay

Sa unahan adunay paglaum

"sAys who?"

Authority…God’s Words…            from my Journal (January 3, 2007)

           I watched Time Changer last night on TV. It was a movie about a Bible School Professor who traveled in the future to see for himself what would happen if God’s authority over His words were removed. It was very interesting and I was never bored. It was like Back in the Future but more exciting.

     Indeed, God should be acknowledged every time people speak His words. If someone says to another person that lying is a sin and that person asks, “Says who?” The former should state that Jesus said that in order to establish authority.

feArLeSs

Travel the Road…Building 429 from my Journal (January 10, 2007)

    I forgot to write last year when I saw the new season of Travel the Road. I just remember it when the song Fearless of Building 429 crossed my mind a while ago. It is one of my favorite shows on TV. It chronicles the journey of two missionaries, Tim Scott and Will Decker across Asia, Europe, Africa and other far-flung places on earth. My brother and I watched the show together and we just loved it.

    Personally, I really admire Tim, Will and all the crew and staff of the show. Their passion in bringing the good news of Jesus Christ to the world exudes on the screen. Actually, the song Fearless by Building 429 is inspired by the lives of these two missionaries. (If you want to experience the thrills of their journey just visit traveltheroad.com or watch it on JCTV).

    Check out the beautifully written lyrics of Fearless: I don’t understand/ No I can’t comprehend/ This power that draws me to you/ But I know for the cross/ I’ll consider all lost In an effort to tell of the truth/ That the world may know/ That the world may know/ That you have been heaven sent to us/ That the world may see/ That the captives are free/ For you have been heaven sent to us/ I’ll be fearless for You/ I’ll be fearless for You/ Take me I’m Yours/ I’ll be fearless for You/ All the times that I’ve failed/ When my doubt has prevailed/ These are the moments I’m giving to you/ Cause I can’t be ashamed/ No I can’t fear the pain/ When it comes time to be living proof/ So the world may see/ That the captives are freed/ ‘Cause you have been heaven sent to us/ Unwilling to bend/ Unwilling to break/ Headstrong I’ll stand/ No matter what it takes

http://www.building429.com (check the video) http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/building_429_lyrics_7961/rise_lyrics_26540

aNgEr mAnAgemEnt

(This is from what I contributed to Manila Bulletin (Diaries) in 2004 but I deleted some parts to make it shorter).  

A friend once told that I have a habit of evading from facing a conflict with someone. As much as I wanna deny it, I think she was right.

I always run from a nasty situation, either because I don’t want too much drama in my life or I feel it is hopeless to fix the situation at the moment. Don’t blame me ‘cause I’m the type who doesn’t like heavy confrontations. I’d rather go to my room, pour all my angst alone, grab my pillows for punching bags, and then cry my heart out under the covers.

    For me, it’s better that way than shouting and talking trash, which could end up hurting the person I’m confronting, and in the process, hurting me as well.

    My room is my solace, my comfort zone where I could say everything I want, without the fear of being slapped. I hate foul languages but I betray myself countless times when I couldn’t help but utter one while punching the pillows. I always end up saying sorry…

    I know many people find it difficult to understand me. They say I’m a coward because I don’t face adversities head-on. But they’re wrong. I just don’t want to face a feisty adversary, ready to explode just like that. I want things to cool down first before settling an issue. Because if not, I’m aware that my mouth could be bad sometimes, you know.

    So, shall I say that there are three things that help me control my anger: (1) listen; (2) count silently to keep myself from talking back: or (3) walk out from the scene.

    Sometimes, I even wonder if there’s something wrong with me. If controlling anger is indeed a flaw, then so be it, but hey, I’m just being true to myself. Most people would do anything just to let others know what they feel, not minding it it’s scandalous or irrational. But I’m not like that.

    I strongly believe that one should settle everything with himself and with God first before confronting anybody. Tough situations bring out the best and worst in a person. Though many would disagree, I still think that it is better to fight with yourself than with others because it will save you the trouble of patching things up. Do I see eyebrows arching somewhere? Yeah, I expected that.

I lOvE pALawAn

Unforgettable moments…  

Almost five years ago, I decided to take up Wildlife Field Practicum in Palawan, located in the southwestern part of the Philippines. It was my first trip to the island. I didn’t know what to expect except that it was known for its rich flora and fauna. I was really excited about the whole trip but a bit anxious, too, because I had to live in a tent the whole time. I wondered if I could survive. It would mean two weeks and four days in the wild without the things that I was used to. Truly, I needed to sacrifice a number of personal comforts.

However, the thrill and joy of being with nature were priceless. Weeks before our departure, we attended an orientation conducted by our wildlife professor. He briefed us on the things we need to do in the wild and taught us the basic skills in setting up a tent and trapping animals.  

At exactly three o’ clock on a hot afternoon of April 2002, we boarded the ship off to the port of Coron, Busuanga Is., Palawan. Together with me on the trip were four other students, our wildlife professor, our laboratory aide and four workers from the Museum of Natural History in UP Los Baños. We reached the island safely the following day. Our professor told us to text or to call our loved ones because it would not be possible once we rode the bus to the camping site. Except for the dusty road, the bus ride was fun. The lush green countryside was a sight to behold.

We spent our first week in Busuanga where I shared a tent with two other female classmates. We took a bath and washed our clothes in a small well in the nearby forest. I felt we were in a SURVIVOR episode. Life was so simple but everyday was a challenge. Aside from tasting exotic foods, we caught frogs, trapped squirrels and colorful birds like kingfishers, monarchs, pigeons, etc. They were freed after we took their measurements and names. We also trapped bats. However, freeing them was hard. Worse, we were told to free them from the mist nets with bare hands. I hesitated at first. This is the price of being adventurous, I thought. I gathered all my wits and examined one bat. I controlled myself from freaking out. I was extra careful not to hurt it and be bitten in the process. Then suddenly, I screamed when its little but sharp claws scratched my hands. I was so embarrassed but everyone just laughed.

On the first day of the second week, we rode a motorboat towards our next destination – the Calauit Island Game Preserve and Wildlife Sanctuary. When we arrived, I was amazed on the sight of zebras, giraffes, horses and Calamian deers that freely roamed around the island. I’ve seen them in zoos and on TV but it was different seeing them personally outside the confines of big cages and fences. They really looked great in the wild. One of my classmates exclaimed that two giraffes were going to mate. The rest of us got our binoculars and took a closer look of the two creatures. They were more or less twenty meters away from us. We were careful not to agitate them as we moved closer. I hid behind a tree and one classmate joined me. We waited for less than an hour of courting before they actually mated. The actual mating was brief and fast as lightning. It was so quick that we were not able to capture it on film.

We did the rest of our fieldwork that week. My partner and I gathered data for our special problem on bee-eaters. Others had their own special problems, too. We needed to wake up very early to do the activities because by nine o’ clock in the morning the heat was already unbearable. Often, we continued work late in the afternoon. We then analyzed the data at night. It was tiring but fun. The group was hilarious. There was never a day that I was bored. We always exchanged jokes, teased each other, ate lots of mangoes and played cards under the mango trees when we were free. I looked forward everyday because I learned new things. We never ran out of stories to tell. Our topics ranged from monkeys to Julius Caesar.

It was so sad that we had to leave Calauit after eleven days. It would mean going back to reality – SCHOOL. However, the memories, the things that I’ve learned, the new things that I’ve experienced and the friendships that were formed were treasures that I really value for the rest of my life. It took me eighteen days of simple living to realize that I needed to appreciate simple things to be truly happy. Literally, we lived with the animals. Those surreal moments were forever captured in vivid images and stored in my long-term memory.

tHe giRL wHo cRies a riVer

(This is a very simple short story that I wrote for a high school friend for her English assignment.)

          Amy hurriedly brushes her teeth after eating breakfast. She has a physics lecture class at seven o’clock. It is already quarter to seven. She cannot afford to be late on their first meeting. Fortunately, she walks fast and now is on her way to the Science building from their apartment. She goes straight to the physics lecture hall and finds a chair at the back before the teacher arrives. She is a transferee so she barely knows her classmates.

          Their teacher introduces himself to the class before he talks about the requirements of the subject. He then lectures a little about some basic concepts and gives an assignment before dismissing the class.

          Amy gathers her things and quickly leaves the room to her next class when she hears voices down the hallway calling her name. She looks back and finds familiar faces smiling at her. Her face lightens up when she figures out that they are Peter and Jenny, her childhood friends.

          “What are you doing here?” Peter asks as they walk toward her.

          “It is a long story. I will tell you next time when I do not have class,” she replies quickly. Honestly, Amy does not want to tell anyone why she, her mother and her younger sister move from the city to the province. She thinks it is not time yet because the events are still fresh.

          “Okay, but we are really glad that you are here. See you around,” Jenny pats her on the shoulder before leaving. Amy smiles at them and then walks toward the room of her next class.

          Classes end early today because the faculty has a meeting at three o’ clock. Before going home, Amy picks up her younger sister who is still in fourth grade. Her mother asks her to buy two kilos of rice at the store when they arrive. As she walks toward the store, she passes a group of girls who keeps on giggling and whispering to each other. 

          “So, it is true that someone is staging a comeback!” says one girl in a voice loud enough to be heard by Amy who is now at the front of the store.

          “Yeah, but I don’t think she still has a place here,” another girl replies.

          “She does not belong her. She should come back from where she came from,” adds another.

          “Don’t be so harsh girls. Remember she is a cry baby,” the girl at the center utters sarcastically.

          Amy controls herself from talking back. She knows that those cruel words are for her. She knows them especially the girl at the center. She is Lalaine Perez. Who can forget her? She was Amy’s rival in grade school before they moved to the city years back. Lalaine was bitchy and mean particularly to Amy who the former considered as a threat in both academics and extra-curricular. She thought that Lalaine has changed after four years but the incident now proves that she was wrong.

          Amy gathers all her wits as she goes out from the store. The mean girls are still outside and she does not want to make a scene with them. She hates fights. She has enough of them. Fortunately, the girls are busy texting when she passes them again.

          Amy helps her mother prepare for dinner and the three of them share a sumptuous dinner after. After assisting her younger sister on her assignments, Amy goes straight to her room. She has a physics assignment to finish. However, the things that she heard that afternoon still linger on her mind. Tears flow from her eyes. She cannot help but blame her father for the hurtful and tumultuous events that their family experienced for the past two months that ended up for them to be broken. The court granted her mother the custody of the children. That is the reason they are here – to leave the past behind and move on.

She looks down and finds her notes wet. She wipes the tears on her cheeks. It is true that she can cry a river of tears but she is also a strong person who can see the bright side of life amidst the chaos. She knows giving up is not an option because an amazing future awaits her. She needs to give her best now to attain her dreams and she has to start on her physics assignment.